Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Do They Really Mean It?

You live and learn. People say things either out of habit or to be polite but I wouldn't write it down or count on it too much. Maybe with one or two people you can.

-Why don't you just spend the night with us? Meaning: I'm getting sleepy and it is time for you to go home.

-Call me anytime. A good way to loose a friend or upset a family member. They mean you can call sometime to chat at a respectable time and if they are not busy.

- If you ever need anything, let me know. If it ain't Mom and Dad you best work it out yourself. Just about everyone has their plate full already.

-How are you? Do people really want to know that your back hurts, that the car is running rough, that you like a hundred having enough to pay the power bill, the doctor said the tests were inconclusive, ... I doubt it. Start telling someone how you really are and their eyes get sort of glassy and they start looking around at the furniture. Oh Okay. Fine. Hanging in there are all expected responses. I always wonder if the doctor is greeting me or he wants to know why I'm there.

-I feel your pain. They're kiddin' right?

-We were about to eat supper, would you eat with us? We have plenty. Phrased like that they probably do want you to join them. If they say, we are going to eat, have you eaten yet? Depends on how well you know them. 'Just some coffee or water would save embarrassment when the cook starts pulling out pots and pans again.

-You look good. Thank you. They are being polite.

-You really look good today. Sounds good to me. They probably mean it.

-You do too! Necessary but they may not have even noticed how you look.

Just a few of those everyday responses. The easy way out is: I'm fine, the car runs great, the kids are well and the bills are all paid. Well, honesty is out the window there. I just try to say OK. To me it means I'm dealing with it.

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