Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Old TV Shows

I was getting on in years before we had a television, I guess nearly eight or nine. The first show I remember was Long John Silvers, not the greasy spoon, the story of a semi-pirate. I remember little about it except that Long John and a young boy were stranded on a boat and they ate their leather shoes. I have never tried eating a shoe but dogs seem to enjoy them.

I watched Fantasy Island until some guy said he was God and I threw out my television for a number of years. When I got another one, people were running around in towels and underwear. No doubt, the networks think they have improved things a lot. You can see bodies cut up right in your living room now and even witness the destruction of a bullet as it passes through a human body.

It was my mistake to think that remotes were made cheap. It is having to use them so much to change channels and blot out loud rude commercials that make them wear out before the television. My right hand is shaped like the remote now and my right arm twitches. I've tried the thing on the grandchildren but found that it does have its limitations.

Now the old shows have made a comeback, at least in my life. I like shows where you have to listen to what the characters say to get the story. There is no rush to get the story out there. You just ride along with the story until something happens. With the new shows, I can usually predict how they all will end. I think that is because they move plots from one show to another to save having to think up something new. (He is always the bad guy.)

The old comedies were actually funny. They didn't get to use ugly words and sexual innuendos to get a laugh. Like on Bullwinkle..."My name is Professor--------, I reckon you know yours." Now that is funny and I even heard the same line on Fringe the other night. It was the Walter character...now he is a funny man. He could just talk with his face without moving his mouth.

No, television is not better, writers and producers are lazy or do not have the ability to imagine. They put out reality shows to save money and to take up air space because a lot of viewers have gone someplace else. They focus all their effort on prime time where they look for supposed beautiful people to sacrifice their dignity for dollars.

I think Elvis probably had good cause to shot his television. You can turn it off and peace and stillness floods into the room like fresh air. I don't like it but I watch it. The three shows that I do like keep me tuned in, mostly I watch some of the others while I'm waiting and I sure don't want to miss that foreclosure commercial or the one about black tacos. Yeah man, give me one of the burnt ones!

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