Tuesday, November 10, 2009

East Tenessee Almost

I could have been from East Tennessee...almost. I got hung up in the cotton fields down south of there. I can fish and squirrel hunt but I can't sing. If I had been from East Tennessee, I think I might even have been able to play the guitar. I got one and sometimes I do a few chords but getting a song out of that guitar and my mouth at the same time is a miracle I do not expect to see in my lifetime. I can change the oil in my car and a tire too if my breathing holds up but you try to put me out there square dancing and there will be a wreck. If I was from East Tennessee, I probably could high step it. I ain't jealous. Georgia ain't bad. We do say 'ain't' a lot even though we know better. We use to eat squirrel brains too, Kentucky ain't got nothing on us.

It must have something to do with the water in East Tennessee. I mean, when it comes to gospel singing...there they come...right out of the mountains. Are they cloning them up there? You know all the names so I won't mention them. We even got good looks in our neck of the woods. Even at my age, I can tell good looks when I see 'em. I can tell the others too but I don't have to hurt their feelings. But up there in East Tennessee, they must cull out the ugly ones and just let the purty ones off the mountain. Well, ain't none of my business. You know if they ain't got no song to sing, they'll just write one. Folks relate to their songs too. I don't mean they are kin to 'em. I mean they sort of understand what they are singing about.

Don't reckon everyone can be from up there. We do alright here in the foothills. We can jump over a ditch if it ain't too wide and do it with grace (or whoever we are running with). Most of the boys know where all the back roads are iffin' the law takes out after them. I stay on the big road these days...more room to wobble.

Just wanted you folks up there to be good to your neighbors, they'll probably be famous next week if they ain't already. Us flat-landers will buy us up some records and just be glad for the water in East Tennessee. Oh yeah, they are funny too when they get to talking or writin' stuff down. They got some stories to tell. Suppose they got some quiet places to do some thinking in. Sort of noisy around here.

That's all I got to say about you folks. I was braggin' on yu in case you didn't pick up on it. Next time you are down this way, bring your musical things, spoons, rub boards, you know, the usual and play us a tune. Don't do no modern dancin' though, we are particular about what parts of your person you wiggle. Lots of church people around here and some others you don't want to be showing off in front of...so keep it simple and try to ugly up some for your own sakes.

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