Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Cleaning Out the Corners

No, it's not what you think. By cleaning out the corners, I mean the brain.

I was in the Marines for 8 years. Needless to say, we had a special language. Certain words cut a lot of corners when it came to gettin' it done but those words do not fit well with raising a family, going to church and dodging the back of mama's hand.

So for years after I got out, I worked hard to use substitute words such as 'ouch' when I hit my finger with a hammer. I was in my several years of trying and doing pretty good when some whacko pulled out and tried to kill my family with their loaded 3500 pound machine. I told them a thing or two and gave them an appropriate name at the time. That tantrum bounced all over the car and right back in my face. I felt shame and embarrassment. My children were thumbing through the dictionary trying to find the words, my wife looked through me to some place across the road.

I kept trying to stop those words from escaping that special place in my brain where I keep the vocabulary of former Marine Sergeants who have to work with some of the dumbest people on earth. They can shoot and they can fight and some even have brains but you had to show some of them where they were (the brains I mean). I love Marines but believe me boot camp is necessary to turn out those good fighting men and women.

Every Marine didn't develop the rotten language habits I had so Know that I'm talking about me and not them folks.

Anyway, I will always remember that one day when I brought that hammer down on my thumb or finger, I forget, and the word that came out naturally was o-0-0-0u-u-u-ch! I admit I was proud of myself and I know pride goes before a fall, so I am cautiously optimistic that I can keep those ugly words corralled. I sure hope so. Dumb drivers are a whole different challenge. I honestly don't know if I say some of the applicable words out loud or just think 'em real loud but I do wish folks would learn to drive or if they know how, I wish they would apply their knowledge on the road.

That's all I got to say about that..... thanks Forrest. I got beans to break and a car to jump off (if I can figure out how to get up on the thang). I need to go look in the grass for my lawn mower but it is awfully hot around here.

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